Woman discusses her journey from self-abuse to self-love
We hear about love all the time in television, film, music, and novels. One of the least discussed forms of love is self-love, which can be notoriously difficult for many people. Even people who generally love easily can struggle to love themselves. Fortunately, some brave people have come forward to speak of their own difficulties with self-love, and how these difficulties can be overcome. One of these people is Grace Kendall.
Grace Kendall opened up in an essay at The Huffington Post about her own struggles with self-love. Her life began with dreams to become a writer. Gradually, her focus on her dream of being a writer was derailed by a focus on being beautiful.
She enjoyed being called “pretty,” but she also felt alone, only loved for her beautiful exterior. She felt as though she was unable to express suffering, pain, or uncertainty because she had to keep up her appearance. It felt as though she could not be valued as a person, but rather an aesthetic object.
Lost to the Bone
After going into college, Grace really began to feel as though being beautiful was her only opportunity in life. This desire morphed into an aversion to food. She stopped eating, and eventually became hospitalized for anorexia nervosa, verging on the edge of death.
People stopped calling her beautiful and instead responded to her body with whispers and horror. In a way, she actually preferred not being called beautiful anymore.
Is It Possible to Recover?
Feeling comfortable and identifying with her body was difficult even after she resumed healthy diet and exercise habits. She was still preoccupied with her own perceived flaws. Being able to view herself in a positive light was both a journey and a struggle.
But during a photoshoot, all of this changed. As she prepared to have her pictures taken, her mind raced through memories, from her suffering through to her triumph over that pain and sorrow. Looking back on her struggles, Grace finally found acceptance, and discovered the power of her own self-love.