When a friend or family member is struggling with an addiction, it can be equal parts heartbreaking and frustrating. Nobody wants to see someone suffer, but at the same time, it can be hard to find the right words to say. What should we say or do when we see a loved one in trouble? Here are three simple ways to help when someone’s struggling with addiction.

Start A Conversation When They’re Sober

If they’re under the influence of drugs or alcohol, then they probably won’t be fully listening to you. Set a specific time and place to talk when they’re sober.

Most importantly, you’re having a conversation, which means you’re talking as well as listening. You’re not there to lecture them. You’re there to help them by listening and sharing ways to get them back on track with their life.

Be Specific About Their Addiction

Don’t just say, “You’re drinking too much” or “You’re too high.” Share specific examples of how their addiction has affected both of your lives.

By being specific, you can show them that their behavior changes when they’re using drugs or alcohol.┬áTalk about how their addiction has affected you as well as your relationship with them.

Support And Love Them

Offer your support and love unconditionally. They’ll know they care for you and can count on you. You, however, are not there to do satisfy their every whim. Set boundaries on your time together. Be clear that you will not tolerate being with them when they’re using drugs or alcohol.

When they’re ready to get help, share resources with them. Offer to take them to see a professional. And be there when they’re ready to start their life over, free of addiction.