Painful memory? Here’s one top trick to let it go

Moving on is possible

Quick notes

  • As we become mentally stuck in our negative memories, we crave past experiences. 

  • The experience itself isn’t all that affects us. We still have to work through our pain and emotions.

  • Letting go of an experience can be hard, but if you really want to move on, then you have to reenter it through your memory. 

Life is full of unexpected twists and turns; these can occur at any moment and are usually when you least expect it. Experiences are encountered in all walks of life, whether these be good or bad, they shape us and form who we are.

If you’ve recently had a terrible experience that you’re longing to forget, then you’ve come to the right place. We’re going to provide you with a great psychological trick to help get rid of negative memories. Read on to find out more!

Why do we hold onto bad experiences?

Our minds love to overthink and store unresolved emotional experiences. We often find that we cling onto the unfinished experience, leaving us with a gut-wrenching feeling of damage and trauma. Situations like this often lead us to feel scared, and we stop growing. 

Just because the experience has ended doesn’t mean it’s done affecting us. We still have to deal with the aftermath of all the thoughts and feelings circling in our heads. As we become mentally stuck in these places, we crave a past experience. We don’t understand the concept of freeing ourselves from it so we can move on and live our lives.

Unsplash/ jontyson

It’s not necessarily the experiences that hurt us most, but, it’s usually the feeling of something we’ve lost or something we still desire. For instance, breakups aren’t usually the thing that breaks us; in fact, it’s often the feeling of wanting love from someone that wasn’t right for us. 

It’s essential to change our way of thinking so we can see what the core of our desires is.

Reentering the memory 

Letting go of a past experience can be hard, but if you really want to let go, then you have to re-enter it through your consciousness. You have to explore the feeling within you that’s uncomfortable.

As scary as this might be, allow yourself to go back (mentally) to that past place or experience. Next, think about that same scenario again, but imagine you’re happy. You have an excellent positive mindset. Allow your older self to impart some wisdom to your younger self. By visualizing this, you help to see the life experience for what it is, a chance to learn and grow.

It’s all about mindset; changing your perspective on the situation is vital!

Tell your younger self that, “Although at the moment this may not seem like a positive outcome, it will, be for the best.”

Now, when you start to worry about this experience, just imagine sitting next to your younger self again. Think about all the specific instructions you’re giving. You’re telling the younger you that this is for the best and, although they can’t see it yet, good and better things will come. 

Releasing the old attachment is essential, and altering your routine is a critical element of achieving this release. It’s all about mindset; changing your perspective on the situation is vital, don’t dwell on it. As humans, we get attached to situations, experiences, and people very quickly. The situation becomes a blur, and we don’t see reality for what it is. The most important thing to do in times like this is to broaden our minds. Instead of dwelling on the past and longing for what we didn’t get, we have to pick ourselves up and invest time and effort into creating better experiences for the future. 

By following these steps, we then open ourselves up to a world of potential; We have the opportunity to do what we want, be who we want, and choose what we want. The choices we make will sculpt our future.  

A deeper dive — Related reading from the 101:

An article explaining the difference between generalized anxiety and other kinds of mental illnesses rooted in anxiety. 

An article explaining how to swap anxious thoughts for positive ones.