A confident man who is no longer in the dating pool will often find himself much more desirable to others than he actually is. Husbands tend to think that if they were suddenly single again, there would be women surrounding them, waiting their turn. However, that’s probably almost always an illusion based on a number of faulty thought processes. Here are five explanations for a husband’s inability to see the reality of how attractive he is.

Misreading Social Cues

Women are often more friendly and talkative around married men because they feel safer around them. Why? A married man is much less likely to hit on a woman or make them uncomfortable in some way. Yet men are misreading a woman’s openness and kindness for romantic or sexual interest, which leaves them overestimating how attractive they are.

Self-Assessment Bias

Self-assessment bias is a scientific phenomenon where people misjudge themselves, erring on the side of them being better than they are. It’s a common thing employees do, a common thing drivers do, and it’s a common thing husbands do. For some reason, husbands are just not seeing the whole picture nor holding themselves up against others accurately.

The Cultural Standard Is For Men To Be Overconfident

From a young age, boys are taught to be confident. That mentality generally sticks with them. A man who is not confident is often perceived to be weak, so there ends up being a lot of pressure to not only seem but actually be confident for men. Combine that with how women learn from a young age to avoid unwanted attention from single men because it could put their safety, and it’s easier to see why husbands can be so mistaken about their desirability.

They Don’t Experience Rejection Like Single Men Do

It is not uncommon for husbands to forget how common rejection is for a single man because it’s likely been a while since it happened. To a man, being married is the ultimate form of acceptance. He thinks, “she chose me, so others would choose me too.” However, it is a miscalculation that has little basis in reality.

Paranoia From The Other Side

Many women fear that a younger woman is going to come and steal their husband. That paranoia gives husbands the wrong idea, and their wives have good reason to fear this. Yet, the wife’s paranoia is just that: paranoia. Unfortunately, that doesn’t stop husbands from thinking there are lots of young women out there waiting to steal them from their wives. Little do they realize, most young women are not interested in older, married men.