30 hilariously brutal ways to end a romance
There’s nothing funny about heartbreak. Or is there? These scorned lovers found some creative ways to break things off with their significant others. Cringe along with us and be glad you’re single.
Tell him how you really feel
There’s an assumption that breaking up with someone through a text or note is an attempt to avoid confrontation, but we can’t help but feel this isn’t the case here. Sometimes when someone wrongs you, you want to let the whole world know.
Can you imagine how awkward the phone call to print the billboard must have been? Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. Don’t mess with Emily.
Cheating garage, wife sale
This person earns points for savagery and pettiness, but loses points for graphic design, unless that message was exactly what they intended. One thing is for sure, whoever lucked out and saw this sign scored some good deals.
Getting betrayed has consequences and revenge is a common course of action, but this might cross the line. Infidelity or not, you can’t just sell off someone’s belongings. What do you think, did this guy go too far?
By the numbers
Sometimes data is all you need to paint a picture, as this soon-to-be ex-spouse knows all too well. Based on the way these numbers break down, this person’s lover has been pretty busy — 132 acts of infidelity?
One thing that puzzles us is how this person was able to keep their relationship together while knowing they were being cheated on for so long. They must be relieved to finally be able to break the news.
Made you a playlist
Back in the day, making someone a mixtape was a sweet way to show someone you care about them. Nowadays, streaming services make it easy to make someone a playlist. But this person decided to go a different route with it.
As long as this guy notices the order of the song titles, he should get the message. At least his ex still wants to remain friends. That has to ease the pain, right?
Using a liquid chalk marker on someone’s car is a great way to show off your accomplishments — like when someone graduates or gets married. This scorned wife found a new use for the car marker, though we doubt Dave appreciates it.
Imagine the sinking feeling this guy must have had when he left work and saw this scrawled on his SUV. But hey, at least she didn’t use a permanent marker or spray paint. It could always be worse.
This pizza place wasn’t kidding when they said they’d take special instructions seriously. The delivery must have been an uncomfortable situation. The real question is: Do you think the recipient tipped the driver?
When you think about it, this is actually a pretty nice way to break the news, though hopefully this doesn’t ruin pizza for the poor guy or girl. Can you imagine taking a bite of your favorite food and all you can taste is heartbreak?
That’s just mean
Poor Jennifer. The next six days are going to be pretty awkward. We’re big fans of looking on the bright side, and this situation is no exception — it looks like Jennifer dodged a bullet.
Then again, you always have to hear both sides. Maybe the sign writer had a valid reason for playing such a cruel prank on Jennifer. We may never know, but one thing’s for sure: That must have hurt.
Shawn must be heartbroken
Absence makes the heart grow fonder, right? If that’s really true, then Shawn must be in a lot of pain, seeing as he hasn’t spoken to dear old Rachel in three months.
Judging by the handwriting and spelling mistakes, this couple appears to be pretty young. It’s probably a good thing they learn these tough lessons early in life. Who knows, maybe Rachel and Shawn will find their way back to each other eventually. We’re rooting for them.
It’s pretty thoughtful of this scorned lover to send him off with a fun game. He may be heartbroken, but he should have fun searching for all his belongings, right?
It was thoughtful of her not to damage any of his belongings after his infidelity, and she even expressed concern about others possibly taking his stuff. How sweet of her!
Insult to injury
This must have hurt. Not only did this person get dumped through a text, but their former lover hit them with one last burn on the way out. I guess that’s what this person gets for trying to make “Babe” feel bad for moving on.
Now there’s nothing left to do but delete their number and download a dating app. Hopefully, both parties are better off now.
A breakup card
There are cards to commemorate practically every occasion, but apparently not a breakup. That must be why this person decided to make their own out of a very different type of card.
This person is probably feeling pretty somber at the moment. But luckily, it looks like they’ve got Michael, Jared, and Derek to cheer them up. No word on what happened to Heidi, though.
In this day and age, breakups through social media are becoming fairly common. Still, not many people can say they’ve been dumped via hashtag. Hey, there’s a first for everything.
While that surely stung, we must admit that’s a pretty clever use of the cropping tool. This guy certainly got his point across in a creative way.
Letting the neighbors know
One of the worst things about a breakup is when you lose touch with the mutual friends you had with your former lover. This ex-wife found a clever way to let her former neighbors know they wouldn’t be seeing her around anymore.
What a nice gesture to thank them for all the memories. Hopefully they keep in touch, because she seems very thoughtful.
This note raises some questions
Jenny decided to break things off with Alexander through a note. Nothing out of the ordinary here. However, something about that last sentence seems a little off …
Why did Jenny feel the need to tell Alexander she didn’t want to date any of his friends? If anything, Alexander is probably more suspicious now than he was before. Perhaps we’re reading too much into this.
Looks like this guy tried to dodge a bullet and failed miserably. If there’s a lesson here, it’s that you should enable autocorrect on your text messages, or at least proofread your texts if you’re trying to pull a fast one.
Now all he can do is buck up and take responsibility. Who knows, maybe fatherhood will suit him well?
Steve’s in trouble
Uh oh, busted! Looks like these two women found out they had something in common — Steve Frazer. Instead of getting mad at each other, they decided to focus their anger at the real enemy.
Making this sign must have made a sign printer’s day. It’s not every day you’re contacted to make a banner like this.
Dan, Gary, and Laura — a bizarre love triangle
Poor Dan, getting dumped on Valentine’s Day. Even worse, his lover left him for Gary and decided to let the entire world know the same day he found out. At least she was decent enough to drop off his clothes at his mother’s house.
While we feel for Dan, he may have won in the long run. If Laura was willing to be this cruel, he probably dodged a bullet. Watch out, Gary.
This sports fan got her revenge
Looks like this unfaithful boyfriend got what he deserved. Not only did he miss the chance to see the big game in person, but his ex added insult to injury by finding a surefire way to end up on TV.
Hopefully he learned his lesson, because that one had to sting. He should have known better than to play around with someone’s heart.
Not the car
Oof. This one crossed the line. Then again, this person shouldn’t have betrayed his lover’s trust. Now he can either be humiliated until he sells the car or pay for an expensive fix.
If there’s one thing we can learn from this list, it’s that cheating has consequences. If it looks like the grass is greener on the other side, you’re better off moving on instead of being unfaithful … Unless your car could use a fresh paint job.
Another love triangle ends in tears. This time, the players are Michael, Jessica, and Jennifer. According to the billboard, Jennifer’s suspicions were confirmed via photographic evidence. Clearly, money wasn’t an object when it came to catching Michael in the act.
Looks like Jennifer came out on top in this situation: Not only is she keeping the house, she also got some pretty sweet camera equipment out of the whole ordeal.
An emoji is worth a thousand words
This person didn’t mince words when breaking up with his girlfriend. Actually, he didn’t use any words at all. I guess if you’re going to use a text message to break up with someone, at least make sure you’re clever about it.
While getting dumped hurts, we can’t help but think the recipient cracked a smile when they got this text. Hopefully that eased the pain.
Young love ends in heartbreak
Kids in middle school can be cruel. It seems someone saw Joey talking to someone he shouldn’t have been talking to. Even though it may have been innocent, this texter decided to cut this middle-school romance short.
She said she wasn’t upset about losing him, but Joey called her bluff. Clearly, bringing someone coffee is a sign of love. But we’d need to know what beverage it was before we make a judgment.
Everyone dreams of seeing their name on the marquee, but we suspect this isn’t what most people have in mind when they imagine their name above the jazz club. Clearly, Paul isn’t having a good day.
Paul may as well walk in the club and order a drink. Not only did he lose his wife, but he also lost his dog. Life is ruff. What? Too soon?
Revenge is sweet
This person found a sweet way to break some bad news to their significant other. There’s never a good way to break up with someone, but at least this person got a tasty treat out of it.
Talk about getting your “just desserts.” This person wanted to make a fresh start in another country. Hopefully this story has a happy ending for all involved.
What goes up …
Sometimes when you have to give someone some bad news, it’s nice to start with a compliment to ease the harshness. This person laid it on pretty thick, to the point where Erin probably thought she just got a nice love note.
That must have been quite a shock. On the bright side, this person clearly seems to care about Erin’s feelings. Odds are, they’ll remain friends.
There’s no easy way to get dumped, but coming home to some Post-it notes on your door has to be pretty rough. Especially when you find out the dog is gone, too. Poor form, Mark.
Then again, if the dog really does hate Brenda, maybe she’s happy to see him go. Perhaps there’s a happy ending for Brenda, Mark, and Spot.
This person had an interesting way of breaking some bad news to their significant other. There are some creative breakups on this list, but we must say that this one takes the cake (see what we did there?).
There are lots of things we use cake to celebrate with, but usually a breakup isn’t one of them. Then again, what kind of situation isn’t made better with cake? Hopefully this trend catches on!
Put it in the Personals
This ex found a creative way to break the news to poor Kevin. Then again, what would he be doing reading the Personals section in the first place if he’s happily taken?
One thing is for sure, as of Dec. 9, this person wants absolutely nothing to do with Kevin. That’s pretty brutal.
Seeing a message scrawled in red lipstick on a mirror is seldom a good sign. This is no exception. In any case, this person definitely got their message across. However, we must admit it’s pretty cruel.
Imagine getting up to brush your teeth and being greeted with this. At least they apologized. Better bust out the Windex.
Choose your own adventure
This person was especially thoughtful — they gave their soon-to-be ex a multiple-choice question to figure out the best way to break the news. At least this way they’ll get the option to choose the least painful way.
Also, this person is now prepared for the inevitable. We wish everybody were this thoughtful. Which box would you choose?