Divorce is a tricky thing. Because of all the feelings involved, it can easily get ugly. Regardless of if you’re splitting because of personal differences or more unfortunate circumstances like infidelity, being reasonable will help keep things from being tougher than they have to be. As difficult as divorce can be, if you keep these five pointers in mind, it’ll be much smoother sailing.

The Children Should Be Left Out Of It

A divorce should impact children as little as humanly possible. Of course it is going to affect them, but don’t put them in the middle of it. They shouldn’t be forced to hear you fighting, hear you call each other names behind the other’s back, nor be making decisions they are not equipped to make. What they need from their parents are role models. Regardless of the divorce, that is what parents should continue being.

Forgiveness Will Help

You have a choice: You can hold on to your anger and resentment, or you can forgive. The thing about anger is, it’s like taking poison and expecting the other person to die. Your anger will only make your life worse, and will not really affect your ex-spouse in the end. Forgiveness will be a great asset to your mental health throughout your divorce and after.

Don’t Go Through It Alone

Share your feelings with a friend, a support group, a therapist. No matter who you are sharing them with, you should be sharing them with someone. Divorce is not easy. At one point, you vowed to share your life with someone, to love them forever. Now, all of that is ending, and that is bound to create some serious inner turmoil. Why go through it alone if you don’t have to?

Avoid Going To Court If At All Possible

When you leave things up to a judge, you are risking a lot. Not only is it costly, but a judge will decide your fate, and may not take what you deem important information into consideration. If you can’t work things out between the two of you, there are other options as well, like mediators. Taking those options into account before going to court will save you a lot of stress.

Accept That It’s Over

Acceptance is the key to moving on with your life. Divorce means that it’s over, no matter if it was what you wanted or if it wasn’t. Once you accept that fact, you’ll be able to start building a new life, re-discovering your identity, and being happy again. It isn’t a failure, or just an ending, after all. It is also a beginning.